


Dial M for Mount Rushmore

by grrriliketigers



Category: The Last Man on Earth (TV)
Genre: F/F, Meet-Cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 15:09:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12867183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grrriliketigers/pseuds/grrriliketigers
Summary: When Gail met Erica.





	Dial M for Mount Rushmore

Gail slammed on the brakes, stopping just short of the White House gates. She pushed open the door and stepped out on somewhat unsteady feet, holding a Big Gulp cup of Cabernet Sauvignon. She pushed the driver’s seat forward and selected a bag of Scoops from the backseat. 

“Alright.” She muttered, staring up at the iconic house. 

She reached through the bars and set her refreshments safely inside. She put her foot on the first rung and reached up to grab the top and hoisted herself up. She had nearly cleared the fence before she caught her shirt and tumbled to the lawn. 

She snorted her annoyance and brushed dirt off her pants. Nothing was bruised except her ego- well, maybe her ass might be a little sore and what did ‘ego’ even mean now that there were no people left on earth to give a flying frig? 

Reaching for her snacks, she put her had in a puddle of wine, realizing that she had knocked it over while falling. 

“Oh, hell.” Gail sighed. She grabbed her Scoops and stood up. “Well, the white house probably has wine.” 

She thought about that for a moment and grimaced, “I hope it’s not Trump winery wines…” 

She trekked across the front lawn; the grass was brown and dry and reached up to Gail’s knees. The front door was unlocked and Gail strolled inside. 

“Okay, where’s the wine room in this joint?” She muttered impatiently, standing in the grand entrance. 

She looked to her left and then to her right and decided to go straight. She began to wander through rooms until she eventually came to the kitchen. She set her chips down on the counter and opened up the refrigerator. The foul stench of spoiled food and rotting vegetables wafted out and Gail slammed it shut. 

“Gross.” She sighed, moving on to the cabinets. “Come on canned vegetables, come on!” She yanked open a pair of cabinets and hooted with excitement. 

“Canned red sauce, you son of a bitch. I’ve never been happier to see you.” She pulled two cans down, kissing both of them in excitement. She set them down and pushed various items around, her grin spreading with each new discovery. “I can work with this.” 

Gail set about using things from the kitchen and pantry, she set up a makeshift stovetop and filled a pot with water. When it boiled, she put in a sleeve of angel hair pasta. On a smaller burner she’d set up, she heated a can of spaghetti sauce and put in a can of whole peeled tomatoes and then a can of pitted black olives, a couple tablespoons of capers, three tablespoons of minced garlic. 

Humming contentedly, she stirred her sauce while her pasta cooked. She pulled out a noodle and tasted it. Perfect al dente. She poured her pasta into a colander and then back into the pot, and dumped her sauce inside. She stirred it together and then selected the appropriate spices, shaking in crushed red pepper flakes, parsley, and oregano. 

She pulled down a serving bowl and put the entirety of her creation into it. She wouldn’t be able to eat it all in one sitting but she’d have to heat leftovers over an open flame and the pasta would soften, so her goal was to eat as much as she could now. 

Gail strolled down the hallway, looking at priceless works of art. Priceless mostly in the sense that there was no one around to pay for them anymore. “Overrated.” She muttered, putting another mouthful of puttanesca into her mouth. 

“Hello?” 

Gail’s heart stopped for a second and she almost dropped her food. “ _Hello??_ ” She called back, setting the bowl down on a side table. 

“Where are you?”

“In the room with the paintings.” She turned around and around trying to find the source of the voice.

“They all have paintings!” The voice answered impatiently. 

“Just follow my voice!” 

After a moment, the owner of the voice appeared at the end of the hallway. Gail felt a bubble of emotion well up in her chest. “Oh my god…” She breathed out, feeling tears spring to her eyes.

At the same moment, the two women ran toward the other, meeting in the middle. They collided solidly but they didn’t care. Gail cupped the other woman’s cheeks. “Oh my god.” She said again. “I thought I was the only person left on earth.” 

“Me too.” She admitted. “I’m Erica.” 

“I’m Gail.” Gail grinned. 

“Do I smell food?” Erica asked. 

Gail laughed. “Puttanesca. Do you want some?” 

**

“You know what I really miss?” Gail asked, the two women sitting on the plush carpet in the oval office, passing a bottle of Brut back and forth. 

“People?” Erica asked, taking a generous swig and holding out the bottle. 

Gail leaned over to grab it. “Yeah, yeah, people. But you know what else?”

“What else?” Erica giggled.

“ _Ice cream_. So much ice cream.” She leaned her head back dramatically, sighing heavily. 

“What was your favorite?” 

“Espresso chip.” Gail lamented. 

“Mine too!” Erica enthused. 

“No way.”

“Yah, way!” Erica insisted. “Coffee flavored anything and I’m in.”

Gail nodded in agreement. “Me too. Give me something coffee, chocolate, or wine and I’ll do just about anything.”

“You don’t say.” Erica wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. 

“Cheeky!” Gail hooted with laughter. 

“So, where’d you come from?” Gail asked, “Australia obviously, but more recently.”

“Right. I was all over. Even before the virus, I wasn’t ever in any place for very long. You?” 

“North Carolina. I had a restaurant there.” Gail said wistfully. “After it was just me though… I just got in my car and started driving. I criss crossed around a while and thought I might as well come to the White House.” 

“Me too. What’s your next stop?” 

“I hadn’t decided actually.” Gail leaned back. “Maybe The Grand Canyon, or Mount Rushmore… the Mall of America maybe?” 

Erica laughed. “Is that the one with the roller coaster?” 

“Yeah.” Gail laughed too. “Roller coasters are largely symbolic these days but I still want to see it.” 

“They might have back up generators.” Erica grinned. “We’ll never know unless we try. I mean… could you use a co-pilot?” 

“Definitely.” Gail smiled. 

**

Gail pulled the handgun from the waistband of her jeans and pulled the trigger, shattering the glass doors in the front of Mall of America. Erica startled, her hands flying to her ears a second too late. 

“A little warning next time?” Erica winced. 

“You grew up in Australia.” Gail said dismissively as she stepped over the glass shards. 

Erica chuckled. “Not in the bush, Gail, I grew up in Sydney. And we had _gun laws_.” 

Gail stopped and turned to Erica, “do you know how to shoot?” 

“No.” 

“Come here.” Gail took Erica’s hand and pulled her close, pressing up against Erica and taking both hands. “Okay, hold it like this… not too high because the slide is going to come back and can give you a nasty burn.” 

“Like this?” 

“Yeah, put your finger here,” Gail moved Erica’s pointer finger to the little rest, “until you’re ready to pull the trigger.” 

“Is there a safety?” 

“Mmhm, this is just an extra precaution. These things are dangerous.” Gail teased. “When you’re ready to pull the trigger, squeeze it in one motion, okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

Gail slipped off the safety. “Keep your arms locked, otherwise the kickback might get you.” 

“Promise me I’m not going to accidentally kill myself.” Erica laughed. 

“Not if you do everything I say.” Gail murmured in Erica’s ear. Her hands slid down Erica’s bare arms, cupping her elbows and holding them in place. She pointed the pistol at a poster for anti-wrinkle cream encased in a glass case. “Now let’s blast the hell out of that unrealistic expectation of female beauty.” 

Erica squeezed the trigger and the bullet sailed through the air and through the glass. Erica giggled as the glass pieces fell in a wave. “Okay, that was kind of cool. 

“I think I’ll leave the shooting to you though. You enjoy it so much.” 

“God help me, I really do.” Gail grinned. She put the safety back on and stuck it in her back pocket. 

“So let’s check out this roller coaster situation.” Erica said excitedly. 

An hour later, after trying and failing to get the roller coaster to start, they found themselves strolling through the mall. “Do you want anything?”

“I don’t know. I used to love shopping but now that I can just take whatever, it takes some of the fun out of it.” Erica shrugged. 

Gail looked at the brochure for the mall. “We could always get loaded?” 

“Lead on!” Erica grinned. 

Strolling again through the vast landscape of the country’s largest mall, this time equipped with bottles of beer, Erica stopped in front of a store front. 

“Build-A-Bear!” She shouted excitedly. “I always wanted to do this but I was too embarrassed to do it.” 

“Well, we didn’t come all the way to Mall of America to _not_ build you a bear.” Gail gestured for Erica to enter ahead of her. 

“Thank you, madam!” Erica grinned, feigning a curtsy as she passed. 

Gail walked in behind her, strolling into the dark store and pulling out a flashlight from her back pocket. “So, what do you do? You pick one of these lifeless husks of stuffed animals.” 

Erica laughed. “You pick an animal and then you get a heart for it and you put it inside and then you stuff it.” 

“Hmm. I’ve never stuffed a bear. Plenty of turkeys though.” 

Erica bumped her shoulder playfully and selected a plushy chocolate brown bear. Gail looked at the wall of plushies for a few moments before taking down a puppy with big floppy ears. “This thing _is_ pretty cute.” 

Erica handed her a heart. 

“Thank you.” Gail turned it around. “Just put it anywhere inside?”

“Yeah, just put it in and then we’ll put the stuffing in.” 

About ten minutes later, the two women had to brand new stuffed animals. “Was it everything you dreamed it would be?” Gail teased. 

“It was better.” Erica grinned and held out the bear to Gail. “I made her for you.” 

“You did?” Gail smiled bashfully and held out her own toy to Erica. “I made the puppy for _you_.” 

Erica accepted the puppy as Gail accepted the bear. Erica put an arm around the puppy. “I love him. You’re sweet.” 

“Keep that to yourself; that’s how rumors get started.” 

Erica smiled. “You want to play some mini golf before we go?” 

“I could play a round.” 

Gail pushed a cart piled high with supplies up to Erica who was pouring over a map. She looked over at Gail’s haul. “What’s all that?”

“I went over to the camping store and got a better camping stove and loaded up on gas canisters. I also wanted some nicer plates and pots and pans.” 

“You did?” 

“Yeah, well, now that I’m not just cooking for myself anymore… I thought I should make it kind of presentable.” Gail admitted. She cleared her throat, “so, you’re looking at a map. Any ideas?” 

“I don’t know, we’re kind of near Mount Rushmore?” Erica suggested. 

“Let’s do it.” Gail agreed. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, I don’t have anything better to do. We only have a couple months here before it starts getting too cold. So what if we do Mount Rushmore and then we head down to the Grand Canyon?” 

Erica folded up the map. “Sounds like a plan.” 

“Where do you want to sleep tonight? I bet there are some display big plush beds in some store in this giant fortress of commercialism.” 

**

“Is it everything you dreamed it would be?” Gail asked as the women leaned on the railing on the president’s trail, the closest that tourists were supposed to get to the sculpture. “We could get closer, if you want.”

“It’s harder to see from too close up.” 

“Isn’t there supposed to be rooms inside it?”

“I think you saw North by Northwest a few too many times.” Erica teased. 

“Probably.” Gail shrugged. “It’s classic Hitchcock.” 

“I didn’t say it wasn’t!” Erica put her hands up. “I’m a Birds girl all the way, though. Hands down.” 

“That’s my second favorite.” Gail said and then paused, “maybe third after Vertigo.”

“You’re crazy. The Birds is the clear frontrunner.” 

“Oh wait! Fourth after Rear Window.” 

“Yeah, yeah, fifth after Marnie, sixth after Psycho, seventh after Rope?” 

“Wow.” Gail nodded, “name another one.” 

“The Lady Vanishes.” 

“One more?”

“Rebecca.” Gail grinned, “go ahead, keep asking.” 

“Okay, keep going then.” 

“Thirty nine steps. Strangers on a Train. Frenzy. The Man Who Knew Too Much, and… Dial M for Murder… I think that’s all I can do. I’ll probably think of more later.”

“That’s more than I could name off the top of my head.” 

Erica shrugged. “I dated this girl for a while who was an absolute fanatic. I broke up with the girl but kept the appreciation for Hitchcock movies.” 

“I never got anything from an ex that I was worth keeping.” Gail sighed, smiling wistfully. “Well, except my son.” 

“What was his name?” 

“Matthew.” 

“That’s a good name.” 

Gail smiled. “He was a good kid.” 

Erica reached for Gail’s hand; she gave it a squeeze. 

“Thanks. It was… it was a really long time ago.” Gail shook her head. 

“So, not the virus?” Erica asked gently. 

“No.” Gail sighed. 

“I’m sorry.” Erica wrapped her spare hand around Gail’s waist and tucked herself under her arm. 

Gail leaned her head against Erica’s and the two women stood in the warm air, standing in front of four giant rock portraits. 

Erica felt a drop of water and then another and she looked up toward the sky just before it opened up and suddenly the area was caught in a torrential downpour. She let out a yelp of surprise. 

“Should we go back to the car?” 

“The Lakota Dakota Nakota thing is up here.” Gail answered, starting to make a run toward the Native American heritage village further along the presidential trail. Before too long the replica tents loomed in front of them and Gail ducked inside, followed quickly by Erica. 

They panted from their sprint as they sat down on the plush faux fur rug. “Damn, that came out of nowhere.” Gail cursed, ringing rain out of her hair. 

“At least it’s a warm rain.” Erica sighed as she pulled off her saturated t-shirt. 

Gail looked over. 

“I’m sorry. You don’t mind, do you?” Erica asked self-consciously, holding the shirt to her chest. 

“I don’t mind.” Gail leaned back. 

Erica dropped the wet garment and scooted up to sit next to Gail. “I guess we just wait it out.” 

“I guess so.” Gail agreed. “So, earlier, you said girlfriend?” 

“Yeah. Daisy?” She asked. “She fancied herself a bit of a film expert. She was a bit of a wanker.” 

Gail laughed. “What did she do that made her a ‘wanker’?”

“She was just always trying to check up on me, wanted to know who I was with all the time and when I’d be back. We didn’t even live together. And I just didn’t want to deal with that.” 

“Understandable.” Gail sighed. “People like that are the worst. My first husband was like that. I kicked him to the curb eventually.” 

“Did you get married young?”

“Seventeen.” 

Erica raised her brows. “Were you in high school?” 

“Yeah, we got married before senior prom.” Gail shrugged. 

“That’s… were just that much in love?”

Gail smirked. “I thought I was pregnant and my parents…” She trailed off, feeling a little self-conscious. “I wasn’t as it turned out. So I had to deal with getting that divorce.” 

“I’ve never been married.” Erica admitted. 

“It’s overrated.” Gail said flatly. 

“I always thought if I found the right person.” Erica stretched out her legs. “But I always just seemed to have these short little relationships. This guy who worked at the bar, this girl who worked at the tattoo parlor. Nothing to write home about. I moved around a lot too.“ 

“I spent most of my life in the same place.” Gail sighed. “And when I moved, it was just to the city and I still was only an hour from where I grew up. I didn’t cross any oceans.” 

Erica nodded, “yeah, I moved to the US because I was in a spot of trouble back in Sydney.” 

Gail chuckled. “Pay dirt. What did you do?”

Erica laughed self-consciously. “It was… a misunderstanding. I may have… you know… accidentally walked out of an establishment with some money that wasn’t mine?” 

Gail grinned. “Oh yeah?”

“And when the cops stopped me… I may have had a gun on me?”

“But it was just a misunderstanding.” Gail supplied. 

“Right. Exactly. It wasn’t even loaded. I’d never shot a gun before or anything.” 

“I was the Deer Creek Regional Shooting Girls Champion shooter for four years in a row.” 

“You’re making all of that up.”

“I’m making up none of that.” Gail admitted. 

Erica laughed. 

“I could’ve gone pro.” Gail continued. 

“But your parents told you ‘college first.’”

She scoffed. “Hardly. I just wanted to open a restaurant.”

“And you did.”

“Yeah, I had… six total over the years?”

“Six locations? That’s awesome.”

“No, _total_.” Gail corrected, “there was a lot of failing involved in that. I finally got it in the sweet spot once the hipsters came along and I moved to the city. Craft beers, artsy fartsy dishes, it was so much work but damn it, it was fun.” 

“I didn’t do anything cool. I just worked at a call center. And I temped a lot.” 

Gail craned her neck to look out the opening in the tent. “It looks like it’s not stopping anytime soon.” 

She turned to ask Erica what she wanted to do and Erica caught her by the cheek and pulled her in for a kiss. They separated a moment later and Erica blushed. “I’m sorry… I…” 

Gail cupped the back of Erica’s head and their lips collided, the kiss deepening immediately. Gail mmmed into the kiss, sending a jolt of arousal through Erica. She moved to straddle Gail’s hips and Gail’s hands traveled down to her ass, cupping her and dragging her against her. 

Erica broke the kiss breathlessly and Gail’s lips trailed down Erica’s neck to her collarbone and Gail lowered her to her side and Gail covered her upper body with her own, her kisses dipping into the valley between her breasts. 

Gail sat up and pulled off her own shirt. Erica grinned, grabbing her and kissing her hard. Erica’s hands ran along the smooth skin of Gail’s back and reached the clasps of her bra, effortlessly unhooking it and freed Gail’s breasts. 

Gail grinned into the kiss, shimmying out of it and discarding it. Erica cupped Gail’s breast, twirling a nipple between her thumb and index finger and Gail let out a strangled moan. “Oh fuck.” 

Erica pinned Gail to the faux bearskin rug and captured her nipple lightly between her teeth and Gail squirmed. Her hand disappeared between Gail’s legs. Gail spread her legs and Erica palmed her through the stiff jeans. “Can I?” Erica asked breathlessly. 

“Yes.” Gail stammered. “Please.” 

Erica popped the button and pulled the offending garment off her thighs. Gail lifted her hips and Erica pulled the jeans the rest of the way off. She ran her hands over Gail’s smooth skin, over her breasts, fingers dancing across her flat stomach, down strong thighs, and around to cup her ass. 

“Beautiful.” Erica murmured as she lowered herself to settle between her legs. She used her fingers to tease Gail’s opening, she was wet and excited, and, Erica thought, they’d been leading up to this moment since they first found each other in the Lincoln sitting room of the White House. 

Erica’s tongue made its first contact with Gail’s swollen lips and her legs quivered. Gail thought she was going to come just watching Erica’s head bobbing between her legs. Erica swirled her tongue around Gail’s clit, pressing with the flat of her tongue and Gail grabbed fistfuls of the rug as her muscles clenched and released, her orgasm washing over her and letting out a whimpering moan. 

Erica slipped in two fingers and Gail sat up, panting hard. She bent her knees, pushing further towards Erica’s ministrations. 

“Oh god.” She bit her lip. “Oh god, you’re gonna make me come again.” 

Erica showed no indications of stopping as she curled her fingers inside Gail, drawing out another orgasm and she let out a long, low moan swallowed up by the sound of the sideways rain, pelting the sides of their shelter. 

Gail collapsed against the rug and Erica appeared over her, grinning triumphantly. Gail pulled her the rest of the way up, drawing her in for a bruising kiss. She could taste herself on the other woman’s full lips, sending a new jolt of arousal through her core. 

Not breaking the kiss, Gail unbuttoned Erica’s jeans, pushing at them. Erica raised up on her toes, trying to remove her pants without breaking contact. 

After only a minor amount of fumbling, Erica was divested of her pants and Gail took the opportunity to remove her bra, leaving not a stitch of clothing between them. Gail pulled her back down, Erica’s knees on either side of Gail’s thighs. Gail’s fingers teased over heated skin, down through damp curls, Erica hummed. 

Gail leaned forward to capture Erica’s nipple as two fingers slid inside the younger woman. 

Erica’s hands plunged into Gail’s hair, letting out an encouraging groan. Her tongue swirled around the hardening bud as her fingers twisted and curled, drawing Erica to the edge and then eased off, eliciting a whine. 

Gail switched to the other nipple and began her ministrations anew, Erica bucked against the thrusting fingers, her inner muscles clamping down on Gail’s fingers. Erica’s breath caught in her chest and she cried out as her orgasm crashed into her. 

Once her body released and relaxed, Gail helped lay her down. Her eyes fluttered open, smiling at Gail, she slid her fingers into Gail’s hair and capturing her lips in an unhurried, languid kiss. 

Gail wrapped her arms around Erica and Erica turned around, spooning up. She stifled a yawn as Gail gave her a little squeeze. 

“Jamaica Inn.” Erica murmured. 

“Huh?” Gail chuckled sleepily. 

“That’s another Hitchcock film.”


End file.
